Parabatai
by LiveLaughLove728
Summary: "You don't regret it, do you?" An empty Institute and quiet moment between Clary and Simon.


**To you wonderful TMI fans, if you're even still here, I am finally back with another story for you guys. I'm sorry it's again been so long since I've written anything. I have some new ideas though and promise to try to write TMI more often. Hopefully, this is a good start!**

 **As far as this story goes, I didn't really have much of a plan for it other than the simple imagined prompt of Simon playing video games and Clary making fun. I originally planned for it to be far more lighthearted and funny. As it turned out, things kind of went a different way, but I think I like this better. I really love Simon and Clary's relationship, especially as _parabatai,_ and I definitely need to write them more often. It's been a while since I've read anything Shadowhunter-related, but I tried hard to keep them in character and I think I'm satisfied. That being said, I hope you enjoy this sweet (I think) little story and aren't _too_ angry about the pathetically long wait.  
**

* * *

Clary slowly wandered the halls of the Institute, making her way gingerly from Jace's bedroom in search of any other of the building's inhabitants. Her chest ached with each movement and she held a hand to her side as she limped delicately along. Her healing injuries were the result of a mishap with a pair of Dahak demons late the night before. It had been a simple mistake, really, a simple miscalculation in her leap, one that had resulted in the demon catching sight of her too soon. It wouldn't even have been a big deal, had she not been so tiny. But she was and though she tried to stab the demon with her Seraph blade, she just hadn't had long enough arms to make a difference in time. She'd been sent flying fifteen feet through the air and landed hard on the other side of the dark alley in which she and Alec—whom she had been on patrol with—had engaged them in the first place.

Alec had rid the world of one of the two. The other had been injured pretty badly by his arrows, but had not been killed and had apparently slipped away. He could easily have given chase and taken care of it, had he not been so concerned about her. She'd known right away that she'd at least cracked a rib or two and, winded with the pain of it, had tried to tell him to do so. He hadn't listened. And as he was Jace's _parabatai_ , it was probably good he hadn't for his own sake. Jace could be surprisingly overprotective when he wanted to.

In the end, she'd wound up with a fractured ankle and three broken ribs. Alec had applied a handful of _iratzes_ to her skin, which had assuaged the pain enough to allow him to move her. He'd all but carried her back to the Institute. Simon, thank the Angel, was in town and had been ready with more healing runes, which worked much better coming from him. She'd managed a shower, with great assistance from Jace, and had attempted to go to bed, though sleep had not come easily with the residual pain from the broken but mending bones. She'd finally found unconsciousness at around four in the morning—with help from Jace if the faded Marks on her skin were anything to go by—and had woken up just a little before nine to an empty room and an apparently empty Institute as well.

Clary felt much better this morning, even if she was still incredibly sore. She stopped in the kitchen and grabbed a granola bar to munch on, and then moved slowly in the direction of the library. She hit pay dirt there.

Simon lay on his back across one of the couches, his laptop propped up against his bent knees. A familiar soundtrack played softly from its speakers. He was very engrossed. Dressed casually in jeans and an old Halo T-shirt she was pretty sure he'd had since high school, he looked as normal as ever. If she hadn't known better, she would have thought nothing had changed since the days they had spent lounging around his tiny bedroom in Brooklyn, watching anime and eating Pop Tarts. Nothing, that is, except for the runes, both dark and faded, that covered his arms. And the muscles—the old Simon had not been toned like this.

"I can't believe you still play that game," Clary said lightly, sitting carefully down on the couch opposite his.

Simon looked over at her voice and sat up. "Hey," he said with interest, "How are you feeling?"

"Like a Dahak recently used me for its discus throw."

He eyed her with sympathy. "You should probably be resting." Clary shrugged dismissively and regretted it instantly. She made an effort not to wince at the pain that flared in her ribcage. "And D&D, by the way," Simon added in response to her earlier comment, "is legendary." He sat back, his laptop on the cushion beside him now.

"It doesn't get old now that your life is basically a video game?"

"Never. And anyway, it came in handy in Edom, didn't it? Anything that enables me to prove Jace wrong is a good thing in my book."

Clary smiled and rolled her eyes. "Where is everyone?" she asked. Alec, though he still pitched in with regular patrols and Clave work, had not lived at the Institute for years now and there was no way it was this quiet if Jace and Isabelle were home. The fact that the training room had been the first place she'd looked only served to further support this conclusion.

"Patrolling," Simon answered, "Jace is determined to track down the Dahak you fought last night and deal with it accordingly." He paused half a second and added, "He's livid."

"Let me guess," she said dryly, "It's all his fault because the Clave called a last-minute meeting and Alec had to go with me instead and if he'd only been there, he would have singlehandedly taken out both demons, saved the day, and kept me from getting hurt."

Simon shrugged. "Your boyfriend has a serious god complex. It's not healthy."

"He's working on it," she replied, unconcerned. "Why aren't you with them?"

He shrugged again, unconvincingly. "I wasn't invited."

Clary snorted painfully. Like that had ever stopped Simon from doing anything before. She knew him far too well to be fooled. "You're babysitting me, aren't you?"

He met her eyes for a second and then sighed. He knew as well as Clary did that he was caught. "We're taking shifts," he admitted.

She rolled her eyes without any real sense of annoyance. "You're all ridiculous. It's not like I'm going to die from a few broken bones."

"Izzy said you'd say that."

"She's right," Clary said, raising a hand to her tender ribs without really thinking about it.

Simon took notice. "Are you in pain?" he asked, straightening. She gave a tiny, one-armed shrug, careful to keep her injured left side still. Simon was already on his feet. He walked to a nearby table and grabbed a _stele_ off the top of it, before turning around and crossing to her. He sat carefully down beside her, instrument in hand, and looked at her, waiting. She rolled her eyes but removed her hand and lifted her shirt up to reveal her injured ribcage. The injury was obvious, even now. Dark bruises blossomed across her skin. "Ouch," he commented.

"Be careful," she said as he moved to touch the tip to her skin. The _parabatai_ rune on his neck showed above the hem of his T-shirt as he bent over.

"Relax," he said nonchalantly, "I got this." His touch was light and quick. The second the _iratze_ was completed, wonderful numbness spread throughout the throbbing area and Clary could breathe without pain. Thank the Angel for healing runes. And _parabatai._ "Better?" a grinning Simon asked. The look on his face said he already knew the answer.

"Shut up," she told him, trying not to smile, "I could mention your first patrol with us."

"But it ended so well," he joked, leaning back into the cushions beside her now.

She snorted. "You were _covered_ in Raum venom. You're lucky you don't have scars."

He smirked. "I've earned more than my fair share since, don't worry."

"Yeah, you're such a seasoned veteran."

"I can outrun _you_."

"You've got like eight inches on me. It's not _that_ much of an accomplishment."

Simon laughed. "You couldn't just let me have my moment, could you?"

She smiled. "I do it out of love."

"Whatever."

Clary's smile faded as a thought crossed her mind. She looked at him. "My mom doesn't know about this," she gestured vaguely toward herself, "Does she?"

" _I_ didn't tell her, so I don't think so. Even I know it's not worth worrying about a few broken bones. You'll be fine by tomorrow."

She raised her eyebrows at him, even while she was pleased to hear this. "So it's not worth worrying about, but I still need a babysitter?"

Simon opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again, releasing his breath in a laugh. "I opened myself up for that one, didn't I?"

"Yup," she said sweetly, "And I'm waiting patiently for an answer."

He gave a light sigh. "Fine. I was a little worried, yeah," he admitted, "You're my _parabatai_ , Clary. You know how it is. I knew you weren't dying, but it still… hurt."

She did know how it was. It was something she hadn't expected when she and Simon became _parabatai._ She'd known, of course, that the connection was a special one, just from talking with Jace and seeing the way he was with Alec, but it wasn't something that could really be grasped until it was experienced firsthand. The pain of one _parabatai_ hurt the other as well.

The day after they'd arrived back from the ceremony in Idris, now over a year ago, she and Simon had been sparring in the training room. He, in a moment of carelessness, made a clumsy block and had wound up with a serious gash in his forearm, nearly down to the bone. He'd yelled in pain, alerting everyone to the fact that the injury hurt, but even without that, Clary knew. The feeling had been shocking enough that she actually dropped Heosphoros and glanced at her own arm. It, of course, had been unmarked, but she felt the pain Simon felt. Not to the same extent, and not exactly physically, but her forearm stung in a way that was both completely psychological and completely real at the same time. It worked with emotional pain too, to the point where Clary could nearly read Simon's mind. She knew what he was feeling, and any emotional turmoil on his part affected her own peace of mind as well. It was strange and oddly beautiful.

Clary did not say anything in reply, but leaned carefully into him and rested her head against his shoulder. He shifted to accommodate this and gently lifted an arm around her. A moment of comfortable silence passed. Then Clary spoke up. "You don't regret it, do you?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"Regret what?"

She lifted a hand from her lap in a vague gesture. "All of this. Ascending. Leaving your normal life behind."

Simon was quiet for a few seconds. "Why would you ask me that?" he asked finally.

"I don't know," she said casually, sitting up again and looking at him, "I worry sometimes that we sort of forced you into it. After Edom," she shrugged a shoulder, "we wanted you back so bad that I don't know if we really considered what _you_ wanted."

"Clary, that was three years ago. You've never mentioned this before."

"I know."

He studied her, his eyes slightly narrowed. "Well, first of all," he said, visibly settling into the subject, "believe me when I tell you that I would _not_ have endured two years of hell at the academy if I didn't really want this." She gave a small smile at this, remembering some of the stories he'd told her. He returned it and continued, "When you first told me you were a Shadowhunter, before the wars and everything, I seriously thought it was the coolest thing ever. I would have Ascended in a heartbeat if I could've. When I Turned, that all went out the window. I tried to play it cool—"

" _Tried_ being the operative word," Clary broke in.

"Well, yeah, exactly," he said, "Now, shush. This is my story."

She smiled. "Sorry."

"Anyway, I tried to deal with suddenly being immortal and damned and all that, but it totally sucked. I did the best I could, but…" He shrugged. Clary nodded. She remembered vividly how sad he'd seemed, and how angry. Especially at first. He quickly went on, "After Edom, everything went back to 'normal' because I couldn't remember anything. And I couldn't, but I kind of could. Like, I would see weird things that no one else did, and I had these crazy dreams that were so far beyond anything my imagination was capable of coming up with. Seriously, Clary, I thought I was going crazy. And the worst thing, because obviously I didn't remember you, was how weird and lonely I always felt. Like, I had all my other friends and stuff, but for some reason, I always felt like something was missing. I missed someone I didn't even know. And I knew, too. When you walked up to me that day, I knew. You were a total stranger, but I completely recognized you. I just had no idea why." He glanced sideways at her, "You're not someone I could have just forgotten."

Clary managed a smirk of acknowledgement but was listening intently. She and Simon had never had this conversation. Not like this. Those six months without him after the Dark War had been the most painful of her life, and hearing his own perspective on it, learning that he'd missed her even without knowing it, warmed her to the core.

Simon obviously knew she was waiting for him to finish, and he spoke on now, his distant eyes somewhere ahead of them. "And Izzy too. I loved her even back then and I somehow knew that, even without knowing her either. Like, I would see a cute girl in school or somewhere and I would _know_ she was cute, but I could never manage to actually _like_ her." He shook his head thoughtfully. "Izzy gave me hell for months at the academy, when I was still trying to remember everything, but I always knew, I think."

He looked back at her now. "So no," he said, "I don't regret Ascending. Becoming a Shadowhunter was the best decision I ever made—whether I was pressured into it or not." Clary smiled at the inclusion. "My life makes sense now in a way that it never did before. I love Izzy like crazy and I can date her with no problem. I love you like crazy too, but not like I thought I did once—not like I love her. You're like, the other half of myself. And that's how it's supposed to be, because you're my _parabatai_. I can have both of you for the rest of my life. And I love being Nephilim. Fighting demons and protecting the world is an awesome job and I'm a great Recruiter because of everything I've been through. I've had to sacrifice some stuff, yeah, but I still get to see my family occasionally and I get to have so many people I can't live without. It's all just… right." He said that last word with another shrug. "Does that answer your question?" he asked with a smirk.

Clary gave a laugh. "Yeah."

"If anything, I should probably thank you for 'forcing' me."

"That's what Jace said." His version had included more sarcasm, of course, but the general message was the same.

Simon raised an eyebrow. "You talked to Jace about this?"

"Not recently," she answered, "But you weren't here for a while. And it took some time before we were… close again." She made a face. "Also, I can't lie to him."

He considered that for a second. "I can't say I share in that problem."

Clary snorted. "I'm shocked, truly."

"I thought you might be," Simon said. A silence fell between them for a few seconds. He broke it. "In other news, I got a call from the Consul this morning. I'm supposed to report to Maine tomorrow. There's a mundane girl there who Jia wants to Ascend and she's sending me there to talk to her."

"Is Izzy going with you?"

"I don't think so. I mean she can if she wants to, but it should be a short trip. One, two days max. Not like Amsterdam last month."

"I still can't believe you left her home for that one," Clary said laughed, "Of all the romantic vacation-worthy places…"

"Yeah, well, if I'd known I'd be stuck there for two weeks, I totally would have. I was seriously considering calling you to Portal her over there by the end of it."

"The Clave probably would have frowned upon that."

"Are you saying you wouldn't have done it anyway? For me, your oldest and closest friend, to whom you've tied yourself until death?" he asked in mock solemnity, holding a dramatic hand over his heart.

"For you, Si, anything," she laughed in reply.

Clary found herself glad he was only going a state away and not to the other side of the world, though his job did drag him to all manner of places. As his _parabatai,_ it bothered her when he was far like that. It wasn't so much that she could feel the distance between them as much as she could feel a distinct lack of _closeness_. It wasn't exactly painful in any discernable way, but it also wasn't comfortable and she found she slept a little more soundly at night when he was home. It was like a part of her was missing when he was gone like that. She'd told Jace as much during one of Simon's earliest Recruiting trips outside the country and he'd told her he felt the same way whenever Alec went away. "It's part of the oath you took," he'd said, " _For whither thou goest, I will go."_ He'd shrugged and added simply, "You're tied together."

"Thank you," Simon said emphatically, keeping up the charade.

"Maybe it was good though," she said thoughtfully, "That you didn't take her, I mean. I think Amsterdam is the type of place you take a girl to propose to her."

He considered that and shrugged. "Maybe. But when I propose, it won't be on some last-minute vacation born out of a work trip. That's not very romantic." Clary had turned to stare at him with raised eyebrows halfway through this claim. "What?" he asked.

"You said 'when.'" She grinned. " _When_ you propose. You've thought about it, haven't you?"

He blinked. "Well… yeah, I guess. A little. I plan to do it someday, I guess. Not right now, but—"

"Simon!"

"What, you don't think Jace is going to ask _you_ someday?"

"I don't know," she replied with a shrug, "He probably will, I guess. But hopefully not any time soon."

"Why not?"

"Because I like the way things are right now." She shrugged. Simon raised an eyebrow and it was her turn to demand, "What?"

"I'm no expert, Clary, but I think Jace might end up asking you sooner than you think."

"What makes you say that?"

"Have you _met_ the guy? I was out of the picture for over two years and even I can tell he's done looking. You're it for him. He's got no reason to wait."

Clary considered that. It wasn't that she didn't want to someday marry Jace as much as she knew he wanted to marry her—and she knew he did, _one day_ , but she did not want it right now. She was barely twenty years old. She'd only moved out of her mom and Luke's house and permanently into the Institute six months ago. She felt like she was still struggling in some ways to establish herself as a true Shadowhunter, to fit into the ranks. The idea that it was obvious to everyone that Jace wanted her for life genuinely delighted Clary, but was it too much to ask for a little time first?

She didn't have a response, so she turned the tables on him. "What about you?" she asked, "Are you done looking?"

"Are you joking? Like I could ever do better than _Isabelle Lightwood_. I still have no idea what she sees in me."

"I do. You're brave and geeky, and just… _Simon._ "

"Thanks, I think."

Clary laughed but didn't miss when he cast a slightly longing glance at his laptop, still resting atop the cushion of the couch across from them. He'd been occasionally doing so for the past few minutes now and it wasn't hard to guess why. With a smile and a playful roll of her eyes, she said, "Go, Simon. Play your game. You can still babysit me from six feet away."

He made a face and looked at her. "I was worried about you, okay?"

"And you're adorable and I love you for it." She grinned. "But I'm obviously boring you." He opened his mouth to protest, but she laughed before he could. "I'm kidding. But seriously, go."

He smirked. "Fine. Want to play with me?" He untangled himself from her and stood.

She laughed. "I'm good." The last time she'd played Dungeons and Dragons with Simon, she had yet to learn she was a Shadowhunter.

"Come on," he protested, dragging out the word slightly and picking up the computer, "For old time's sake." He stood and looked at her, "It's not like you have anything better to do. Not in your condition."

"Thanks a lot! You know, insulting people isn't how you get them to do what you want."

"Does that mean you're going to play?" he asked with a grin, sitting next to her again and setting the laptop on his knees.

"I guess," she said with a dramatic eye roll, "Since I'm a cripple with nothing _else_ to do."

"And you love me. Don't lie."

Clary settled against him once more while he logged in. "Don't worry," she said lightly, "I won't."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading!  
**


End file.
